That's what STORMY said.

That's life.

I frankly don't care.

Stop saying that. Please.

Well it's not true. I do care. A lot. About a lot of people. I'm confused. About a lot of things right now. For example, apparently I'm not good at constructing fully formed sentences. Although I have just contradicted myself.

I've been crying out, praying to God, begging Him to come through. And yeah mad props to Matty boy. You know what I mean.

I had a chat with somebody we haven't introduced yet last night. We'll call him Rico. I don't know how he would feel about that, but frankly I don't care.

So I pretty much was doing crazy things like bearing my testimony and talking about God with Rico which I frankly thought would never, ever happen. I don't know that he was so much interested in what I was saying, but he didn't reject the conversation. He is a really awesome friend despite his flaws. A lot of people give up on him way too soon and he's none the better for it. A crushed self esteem can be...devastating. It's hard to come back from some of the things he's been through. I know, coz I've been there.

I am officially a fully licensed crazy person so you probably would be best to not believe anything I'm saying coz that's just madness. Madness? This is-

Let me stop you there.

Okay?

No, that was it. I just didn't want you saying it.

What, "SPARTAAAAAA-AA-AA!"?

I have only one thing to say to that.

Yes?

-.-"

Is that it?

. . .

Well then. I should probably reintroduce some of the less relevant characters.

Why?

So there'll be some logical reasoning and flow behind this mad...er...insanity.

Why were you afraid to-- nevermind, don't answer that.

But you may be onto something. Though introducing new characters into this blog and bringing in the formatting of the story into the middle of this whole sort of general mish-mash would just be absurd.

I really, really, really despise Miley Cyrus (Hyena Wyoming...or whatever she's called). But some of her music gets to me. The words which I'm certain she doesn't understand and thereby has no right to be singing are the important bit.

I really, really, really need to get my life right with God. If I ever even want to DREAM of having a girl like Zelda or Luigi I need to sort things out. That's part of the reason I think I was so miserable there. It wasn't just being so far away from them. It was the fact that I know being there...I was giving up. Not just on myself. On everything. On them. On God. Nothing seemed to matter. And I'm sure that Satan was pretty satisfied with himself. He had me seriously contemplating taking my life every single day.

The funny part about it all though is that "my life" isn't about me. Or at least it shouldn't be. For too long I've let it be. And I'm not saying it should be all about Zelda or Luigi. It needs to be about God. Not like some celibate monk or paedopriest (not that I'm saying anything about Catholicism or anything like that; I'm sure they're not ALL that way...). No I'm talking about actually focusing firstly and foremost on what God wants out of my life.

The absolute HAPPIEST I have ever been in my entire life is when I was the closest to God. I was where God wanted me to be. And he blessed me for it. And life wasn't always sunshine and rainbows and butterflies and leprechauns (the good kind) and unicorns and--

You get my point. Life still sucked sometimes. But when life sucks and you're still happy to be alive it's a lot nicer, a lot better than when life sucks and you're miserable and dread waking up every day.

I'm going back to a job I hate. I don't know where I plan on living. I have no money. Life sucks right now. And I'm terrified. But I'm putting my faith in God because I know this is where He wants me to be right now. I don't know how this is all supposed to work. This is crazy. But I know God has a plan. Just like Grumpy Bear told me. God's already got it all figured out. Just coz I can't see it yet doesn't mean He's not watching over me. It's just hard. Coz I don't see how it's all supposed to fit together. I don't see how it's supposed to all be okay. But I know it will be.

I don't know why I keep coming back to this page. I'm never going to use this thing.