I screwed it up. I made a mistake. A few times over. A hundred billion thousand million times over. But still you keep taking me back. I understand somewhat, thanks to the amazing gifts you've given me. But...me? How could anyone love me?
I regret the times I've turned my back on you. The times I've let you down. The times I've given up on you...and myself. I wish I could take them back. We both know I can't. Though I wish I could. You know my heart and you know I'd give most anything if I could take it all back.
I can't change the past though. The only thing I can change is the future. And I know that the only way to change that is with you...not just by my side. Not just behind me. I don't just need you to have my back. I need you all around me. I need you to carry me. Just like I know you always have.
I'm terrified of failing you again. But in my heart I know that falling and failing are not the same. I know that I can make it through this.
I just pray that you can forgive the things I've done though I can't even begin to fully comprehend how you could. Not me. I feel more than just undeserving. But perhaps it's my humility that allows you to keep taking me back in your arms time after time.
I love you.
...and I'm never gonna use this stupid thing.
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